Monday, May 13, 2024

d100 Donkey Details

 

d100 Donkey Details

(from my reddit post:
https://www.reddit.com/r/d100/comments/1cpgqh8/d100_donkey_details/)

Adventurers often obtain donkeys to carry extra gear or loot. Strong and sturdy, these beasts of burden are also remarkably efficient, able to forage almost anywhere, and needing only straw or hay and a little grass now and then when on the farm or in town. These un-sung heroes need a little love. Here's a d100 list of Donkey Details (I suppose you could use most of these for mules, too):


  1. Laughing Donkey. This donkey's hee-haw sounds remarkably similar to human laughter. Makes this particular sound only when PC's do something stupid or risky.

  2. Scared of open fire -- torches, campfire, etc; runs away. Can tolerate lanterns (but kinda iffy).

  3. Practical Joker Donkey. Takes one step to the side when anyone tries to load anything onto it and the loader is not looking.

  4. Union Donkey. If ever loaded over 3/4 normal carrying capacity, goes on strike, will only walk in circles until it gets a long rest.

  5. Back-Peddling Donkey. When spooked, always tries to back up 60 feet, no matter what's back there.

  6. Depressed. Need to talk to it and pet it for 10 minutes after each long rest (and on cloudy days) to get it moving.

  7. Battle Donkey. This one loves battle and always charges straight toward any battle noises it hears. No holding it back. Ooh-rah!

  8. Passenger Donkey. Happy to carry riders (bareback, without a saddle), but doesn't want anything tied / cinched around it (will try to scrape items off against a tree, wall, the ground, etc.).

  9. Allergies. Donkey has allergies in spring and fall. Sneezing fit 2-in-6 chance each hour. Drops stuff.

  10. Lie-Detector Donkey. This donkey can sense when a humanoid is lying. Likely via some sort of pheromone cue (?). Farts if a lie is told within 10 feet of it.

  11. Marathon Donkey. This donkey has incredible endurance and can travel twice as far between long rests.

  12. Will carry sacks, corpses, or other floppy things, but not wooden boxes or other things with sharp edges.

  13. Scared of crowds. Simply WILL NOT enter a village / town / city.

  14. Has tapeworms, must feed twice the normal rations until diagnosed and healed. Poop can give tapeworms to any humanoid. Heads up.

  15. Streetwise Donkey. Grew up in a city, pulling a delivery cart. Knows all the streets of the city, how to get anywhere. You tell it where you want to go, it will slowly, at a plodding pace, lead you there. It can't talk or understand any commands other than place names in that one city.

  16. Vagabond Donkey. This donkey will occasionally wander away from the group and stay gone a few days, but then it always returns. Where does it go? Why? No one knows.

  17. Mother-bucker. Will attempt to buck any female humanoid who attempts to ride.

  18. Nauseated, 2-in-6 chance of throwing up in a big way every 10 minutes for a day

  19. Scared of its own shadow. On sunny days, freaks out every now and then.

  20. Large Donkey. This donkey is a freak of nature and is twice the normal size. It can carry four times the normal load and requires four times the normal feed/rations. It won't fit in most stable stalls, through most doorways, etc. Commoner strangers are usually freaked out by it; they are often intimidated by it (2-in-6 chance), or try to kill it (1-in-6 chance) because they think it is a bad omen, enchanted, cursed, undead, etc.

  21. Stealthy Donkey. This donkey walks in a way that is completely silent, even on cobblestones, and shifts its weight as needed to eliminate the sounds of any clanking gear it carries. Instinctively hides itself behind/inside/under/around any available cover, at all. You turn around, there it suddenly is, looking at you in the eye. Can freak a dude out.

  22. Loves butterflies. Chases every one it sees.

  23. Counting Donkey. Point at a group of objects and say "Count." Donkey will tap its front right hoof a number of times equal to the number of objects in the group. Counts about one item per second. Can't spell worth a damn, though.

  24. Aqua-donkey. This donkey loves playing in streams/rivers/ponds/rivers. Runs to them. Likes to splash everyone else. Thinks it's funny.

  25. Catches a parasite disease and will die in 3 days unless healed

  26. Chip-On-Shoulder Donkey. If there are other donkeys / horses around, hates them, always picking a fight.

  27. Blessed Donkey. This donkey enters the scene carrying a religious messiah, or so they say.

  28. Talking Donkey. Amazing! But, a bit finicky, only talks 1-in-4 times you ask it to, and at other random times as DM deems appropriate. Also, only knows a few words/phrases: yep, nope, hungry, tired, idiot, run away.

  29. Hates the heat. Half movement and half carrying capacity on hot days > 80F. Needs double water rations.

  30. Ate some weird mushrooms along the way. Temporarily blind for 1d4 days

  31. Hates elves, they're too self-absorbed and snooty, always making you walk through trackless forests, getting you stuck in the underbrush.

  32. Prudent Donkey. Has 1-in-6 chance of perceiving a trap within 30 feet. Will look at the trigger mechanism, hee-haw loudly, and not take a step toward it. No matter what.

  33. Mystical Donkey. Has some kind of weird ancestral donkey mind-meld with a caster in the group, constantly complaining (mentally) that "this s**t is too heavy, dude," "can't you give a donkey a break?," "how about carrying some of this s**t yourself, tough guy," etc. You can't concentrate.

  34. Lucky Donkey. When within 10 feet of this donkey, you can re-roll one roll per day.

  35. Somehow, loves smelly green ogres who sing. Tries to run off with any such ogres encountered.

  36. Hates humans, they make you work too hard, usually in larger towns or cities where the cobblestones hurt your feet.

  37. Needs a bath, smells very bad. Indescribable, really. No surprising any foe while this donkey is around until it gets a bath.

  38. Shy Donkey. Always tries to move behind you when you encounter anyone new.

  39. Keen smell. Can smell most enemies within 100 feet and will hee-haw loudly to warn you. False alarm 1-in-4.

  40. Sprint Donkey. This donkey can run at twice the normal movement rate, but only for one minute between long rests.

  41. Drunk Donkey. Will only work when slightly inebriated. Must feed it a wee flask of ale, wine or whisky to get any work out of it.

  42. Has one very short leg. Walks unevenly. Kinda funny, but only 1/2 normal movement rate.

  43. Beautiful Donkey. This donkey is a very fine specimen of a donkey. Highly desired by donkey ranchers to breed other donkeys. Sells for double the normal price. Bit of a prima donna. Must be fed one apple or pear per day, or refuses to work. Resents you.

  44. Hates the cold. Half movement and half carrying capacity on hot days < 50F. Needs double saddle blankets.

  45. Sneaky. When you're not looking, has 1-in-2 chance each day of pick-pocketing something off the back of a random PC. Might drop it, might eat it, might fling it to the side of the road, might just hold it in it's mouth. Hard to say with donkeys.

  46. Scared of snakes. Snake within 30' causes total donkey freak out.

  47. Always tries to eat/gnaw whatever it is carrying (especially food) whenever you're not looking, ruins stuff.

  48. Freaked out by undead. If it sees undead, or smells them (can smell 60' away), RUNS in the opposite direction.

  49. Narcoleptic Donkey. Falls asleep, often.

  50. Critic Donkey. When others aren't looking, looks at you and rolls its eyes. You swear.

  51. Foraging Donkey. Grew up in the wild. If there is any vegetation around, at all, it can find it, find enough edible material for a meal, and feed itself, no rations required.

  52. Shoe-Throwing Donkey. One-in-four chance of losing a horse shoe each day, won't walk until found or replaced.

  53. Small Donkey. Can only carry half normal carrying capacity. But has a scrappy attitude and is NOT SCARED OF ANYTHING (immune to fear and intimidation).

  54. Repressed anger. Tries to bite (for real) anyone within 5' who is not its owner (considers only one person its owner).

  55. Back-Row Donkey. If there are multiple four-legged animals in the group, this one must be the last, in the back, or it won't go/work at all.

  56. Vertigo Donkey. Always dizzy, walks in circles unless carefully guided constantly by hand.

  57. Hates carts, wagons, etc. Will not pull a cart or other wheeled vehicle.

  58. Wallowing Donkey. Enjoys a good roll in a mudhole/puddle. Every mudhole/puddle.

  59. Deaf. You bought/raised a deaf donkey. Should have checked. Anyway, can't hear any commands. Won't respond to visual commands. Must touch the donkey to give it a command.

  60. Musical Donkey. Gets indigestion often, becomes VERY flatulent.

  61. Flying Donkey. This donkey has been magically enchanted to fly, only once in its life, for one minute. The wrangler/master must speak the command word: "Esel-burro"

  62. Addle-Headed Donkey. Once per day, has a 1-in-4 chance of running in a random direction for 1 minute.

  63. Hates the rain. Won't work in the rain. *OR* Hates the wind. Won't work in the wind.

  64. Say-My-Name Donkey. You must call it by name to get it to do anything. It answers with a loud bray each time.

  65. Hates dwarves, always making you work underground in the mines, and their beards are (somehow) scary.

  66. Often gets a leg cramp, limping for 10 minutes, 1/4 movement rate.

  67. Smoking habit. Will work only if you let it smoke lit cigarette or pipe while on duty.

  68. Smart and independent. Anticipates and does exactly what you want 5-in-6 of the time, but disagrees and argues 1-in-6 of the time.

  69. Lover Donkey. Wants to make baby donkeys, runs after opposite gender donkey (or horse) every time it gets the chance.

  70. Has a drinking problem. Will always rush toward any water source to take a drink.

  71. Is a hot head, always immediately charges and attacks any foe encountered. No holding him back.

  72. Pregnant Donkey. This donkey is about to have a baby. 2-in-6 chance each day until baby is born.

  73. Loves flowers. To eat. Will only do any work if given one bouquet to eat per day.

  74. Pious. Has 1-in-6 chance each hour of stopping for 10 minutes, kneeling on front two legs, and praying to the donkey god "No Cargo Bob"

  75. Death Wish Donkey. Is reckless, doesn't look where it's going, always running into things, chance of falling off cliffs, etc.

  76. Dead pan smile. At the most dangerous / awkward moments, turns to a party member and gives the most ridiculous, hilarious donkey smile you have every seen. PC must make DC 10 Const saving throw or bust out laughing for 30 seconds.

  77. Nervous Tick Donkey. This donkey kicks its left leg backwards randomly, every now and then. If anything/anyone is standing behind this donkey, there is a 1-in-6 chance that it kicks.

  78. Cargo Donkey. Happy to carry items/supplies tied or cinched around it, but won't carry humanoid riders (bucks them off).

  79. Homesick, always tries to run away and go back home (or to the place where you bought / found / raised him) every chance he gets

  80. Perceptive Donkey. Has 1-in-6 chance of perceiving a secret door within 30 feet. Will walk up to it and put its nose on it.

  81. Scared of water, won't cross a creek/river/pond/lake, etc. Definitely not getting on a boat.

  82. Front-Row Donkey. If there are multiple four-legged animals in the group, this one must be the leader, in front, or it won't go/work at all.

  83. Pacifist Donkey. Refuses to carry any weapons or ammo.

  84. Glowing Donkey. This donkey glows faintly in the dark. Very dim light. No one knows why.

  85. War Veteran Donkey. Missing one leg at the knee (maybe has peg leg). Opposite ear slashed off. Wears an eyepatch. Lots of scars. Can only carry half normal weight, but its kick does +2 damage.

  86. Vagabond Donkey. This donkey will occasionally wander away from the group and stay gone a few days, but then it always returns. Where does it go? Why? No one knows.

  87. Alert Donkey. This donkey has a 1-in-6 chance, on its own, independent of PC checks, of noticing an impending ambush. It will hee-haw loudly if an ambush is about to occur.

  88. Ate some bad food / weeds, now has diarrhea, big diarrhea, 1-in-4 chance every hour for a day.

  89. Expressive Donkey. Often has ideas and wants to share, "hee-haws" very loudly for 30 seconds. Sometimes indicates something important, sometimes not.

  90. Large Donkey. This donkey is a freak of nature and is twice the normal size. It can carry four times the normal load and requires four times the normal feed/rations. It won't fit in most stable stalls, through most doorways, etc. Commoner strangers are usually freaked out by it; they are often intimidated by it (2-in-6 chance), or try to kill it (1-in-6 chance) because they think it is a bad omen, enchanted, cursed, undead, etc.

  91. Hates halflings, their barn doors are too low and their generally cheery attitude is annoying.

  92. Super-donkey. Can carry three times normal carrying capacity, but for only one-third the normal time between long rests.

  93. Easily distracted by various things along the road ("Squirrel!"), constantly stopping to sniff / check out something.

  94. Really thirsty today, requires twice the normal water ration for one day. Pees a lot. (I mean a lot.)

  95. Wrong-way Donkey. Will only walk backwards. Half movement rate.

  96. Ugly Donkey. This donkey is bow-legged, has a saggy back, missing teeth, ugly hair, warts, boils, is missing large patches of hair due to mange, somehow is always dirty, has flies, ticks, lice, etc. Nose usually runny. Eyes too. BUT, this donkey can Misty Step.

  97. Shell-shocked Donkey. Scared of battle noises. Runs away from battle noises. Like, a quarter-mile away.

  98. Hates strangers. When within 15 feet of an unknown/new humanoid, hee-haws loudly for 5 minutes. So embarrassing.

  99. Picky eater, only eats store-bought straw/hay/whatever. Won't forage along the road/trail.

  100. Loyal Donkey. Will not leave its humanoid wrangler/master unprotected. Will defend wrangler/master to the end. Will take an arrow or battle ax blow to defend wrangler/master. There to the end, no matter what.

Friday, April 12, 2024

d100 What are the guards doing?

 

d100 What are the guards doing?





You're a guard. What's your biggest problem? Boredom.
Standing around all day, maybe walking your rounds.
Trying to stay awake. Trying to pay attention.
Day in, and day out. (yawn)

From my Reddit post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/d100/comments/1c0lh50/d100_what_are_the_guards_doing/

d100 List:

1 Sharpening a weapon

2 Playing poker with another guard

3 Ahem, smooching a commoner

4 Guarding a prisoner (checking them into the area, checking them out of the area)

5 Singing a tavern song

6 Laughing loudly at each other's jokes

7 Yelling at / arguing with another guard about (d6): 1 whose turn it is to do guard duty, 2 who ate the last serving of rations, 3 who the server winked at in the tavern last night, 4 who was supposed to bring the weapons (they have no weapons), 5 who was supposed to bring the toilet paper, 6 why one of them always has to "start something" [a fight] at the festival/tournament/etc.

8 Trying to light a new torch (their previous torch just burned out)

9 Cringing as their boss yells at them for falling asleep on duty

10 Changing of the guard (one guard checking in, one checking out)

11 Coughing loudly with pneumonia or tuberculosis

12 Playing solitaire (cards) alone

13 Walking toward the PCs as they return from walking their rounds (10*d12 feet away)

14 Practicing a small instrument (lute, pipes, snare drum, etc.) (member of the guard band)

15 Yawning, over and over (2 in 6 chance to fall asleep each minute)

16 Blowing the seeds off a daisy and making a wish / looking for a 4-leaf clover in the weeds / picking petals off a flower and saying "she loves me, she loves me not, . . . "

17 Taking a nap and snoring loudly

18 Walking away from the PCs as they walk their rounds (return in d10 rounds)

19 Tying their shoes / Putting on their boots

20 Talking to another guard about (d6): 1 who has the best lover, 2 which type of pet is best, 3 whose weapon is best, 4 whose horse is best, 5 whether it's better to have higher Strength or Dexterity, 6 why wizards are such nerds

21 Pants down (Peeing / Pooping)

22 Shivering while wrapped in their thin guard's cape (if cold outside, or raining) / Sweltering under their thin guard's cape, rigged as a little "head-gear" umbrella to shade them from the sun (if hot outside) [either way, they're miserable, and potentially susceptible to persuasion that gets them out of the elements]

23 Throwing up (recovering from a hangover)

24 Delusional from a high fever

25 Just flipping a coin, over and over

26 Strung out on drugs

27 Drunk, slurring words and reeling

28 Playing beer pong (with a walnut) with another guard

29 Trying to look cool, wearing sunglasses, smoking tobacco / weed / etc.

30 Talking to a commoner about (d6): 1 the weather, 2 the harvest, 3 which tavern to meet at after work, 4 why the guard wasn't in church this week, 5 a creature stealing the livestock, 6 why don't the guards do something about the gangs/bandits in the area

31 Practicing with their weapon (slashing the air with a sword, target practice with a bow, etc.)

32 Rummaging through their backpack, belt pouch, etc., looking for something

33 Eating a snack (crunchy apple, hard boiled egg, cheese and crackers, jerky and a biscuit, etc.)

34 Drinking (water) from a waterskin [followed by loud belch]

35 Sneaking a nip (of alcohol) from a pocket flask

36 Shining their shoes/boots/belt buckle/medals/insignia

37 Playing dice with another guard

38 Sneezing loudly in a hanky due to having an annoying cold

39 Writing a crude joke on their cast (they have a broken arm/leg)

40 Waiting as a medic changes the bandages on their head (injured earlier)

41 Whistling a tune

42 Whittling a little wooden toy soldier with a knife

43 Throwing contest with another guard (trying to hit a tree, etc., with a pebble)

44 Chomping on chewing tobacco and having a spitting contest

45 Beating up a prisoner

46 Chasing some other person/group who are trying to run past the guard

47 Playing fetch with a little pet dog (or rat)

48 Practicing their juggling (apples, or daggers, or torches)

49 Refilling a lantern with oil

50 Yelling at / arguing with a commoner about (d6): 1 dating the commoner's teenage kid, 2 being respectful to guards, 3 why the commoner's papers don't look legit, 4 why the commoner was attempting to evade taxes on [some commodity], 5 whether the guard is coming to family dinner night, 6 why the commoner "doesn't have what it takes" to be a member of the guard

51 Playing marbles with another guard

52 Nursing a toothache (bandages around jaw, talking difficult)

53 Looking at themselves vainly in a pocket mirror and brushing their flowing hair

54 Brushing their teeth, using their messkit tin as a washbasin

55 Having a (loud) farting contest with another guard and trying not to laugh

56 Improving their guard post (hammering on wooden guard hut, stacking sandbags, digging foxhole deeper, etc.)

57 Heating up their sad little meal in their messkit tin over a small, sputtering campfire

58 Doing deep knee bends and push ups (exercises)

59 Deep into reading an exciting book about a heroic guard

60 Sewing a button back onto their uniform using a needle and thread

61 Reading fresh orders from a note sent by their boss

62 Putting on a fresh pair of socks (their shoes/boots are off)

63 Writing a boring status report on a note to send to their boss

64 Shaving with a razor, shaving cream, and a little pocket mirror, using their messkit tin as a washbasin

65 Kneeling in prayer, holding their holy symbol

66 Releasing a prisoner

67 Away from their post, checking that the other guard nearby in not away from their post

68 Enjoying a hot beverage (tea, coffee, etc.)

69 Sweeping the floor around their guard post

70 Cleaning their weapon

71 Trying to get ahead, doing their homework while on duty (math, spelling, or something)

72 Taking a bribe for allowing someone to smuggle something past the guard station

73 Twirling a cudgel at the end of a lanyard

74 Lying down, mysteriously already dead

75 Lying down, pretending to be dead

76 Sitting still, leaning against wall/tree, with hat/helmet pulled down over eyes, chest moving up and down (sleeping?. . . or pretending to be sleeping?)

77 Guard is blind or deaf, but PCs don't know

78 Polishing an alarm bell/gong

79 Running away from a monster/mob/etc., toward the PCs! (don't yet see PCs)

80 About to rebel against their bosses [dude, they've had enough of this s**t]

81 Preparing to execute/hang a prisoner

82 Writing a letter to a faraway sweetheart

83 Engaged in a fistfight amongst themselves

84 Complaining to each other that they hate working this particular guard post

85 Trying to keep something *in* a location, rather than trying to keep the PCs *out*

86 *Pretending* to be friendly towards the PCs

87 Checking someone's identity papers

88 Checking someone's backpack/cart/wagon for contraband

89 On a break, sitting against a wall/tree/door and smoking, their weapon lying beside them

90 Pacing back-and-forth nervously, frequently looking over their shoulder

91 Paying a commoner to sneak them alcohol while on duty

92 Musing on philosophy, while twirling their handlebar mustache

93 Cleaning their monocle

94 Talking excitedly among themselves (or to him/herself, if alone) (about what?)

95 Attempting to hide from something (not the PCs) (but why????)

96 Folding origami animals

97 Attempting, but failing (over and over), to cast a magic spell

98 Looking at the clouds (day) / stars (night) and contemplating the vastness of the universe.

99 Oiling/greasing the hinges of the door/gate they are guarding

100 Looking straight at the PC's location (but do they actually see the PCs???)

PLUS, 20 MORE BONUS LIST ITEMS!

Items 101-117 from u/World_of_Ideas:

101 Escorting something/someone: (artifact, chest, merchant, noble, priest, prisoner, suspect, VIP, witness)

102 Practicing parade drills

103 Questioning people about (an accident, a crime, a criminal, a suspect, stolen goods, illegal goods, a monster, a missing person, a mysterious event)

104 Searching the area for (someone, something)

105 Talking with an informant

106 Comparing scars or old injuries

107 Donning their uniform (or armor)

108 Discarding their uniform. Oh, wait, that was someone *impersonating* a guard! (but, why?...)

109 Dragging a (dead, tied up, unconscious) person

110 Guard is bound and gagged (who did this, and why???)

111 Hiding something / Accessing a hidden stash

112 Practicing their speech that they are going to tell someone

113 Repeating the (combination, directions, instructions, pass phrase), that they are trying to remember

114 Shooing away (vagrants, street urchins, animals) from the area

115 Sounding an alarm (bell, gong, horn, whistle, signal fire, flare arrow, etc). (Has nothing to do with the PCs.)

116 Training a guard animal ("fetch!", "stay!", "sit!", "attack!", "release!", etc.)

117 Wearing scary "goth" makeup to look intimidating, so commoners won't bother them with annoying questions

118 Using their position to extort (favors, money) from someone

119 Arguing over what would win in a cage fight: an owlbear or a displacer beast? (u/I_Am_Lord_Grimm)

120  Reading a library book with title (d6): 1 "Gardening as a Side-Hustle," 2 "Dwarven Home Brewing Secrets," 3 "Dice Games and How to Win Them," 4 "100 Best Barmaid Pickup Lines," 5 "Guards' Lance #5 (book 5 in the 47-book pulp adventure series)," 6 "Magic Tricks for the Beginner." (inspired by: u/NewLibraryGuy)

Saturday, April 6, 2024

Knights of the Round Table one-page rpg

 


Hear-ye! Hear-ye! You are a Knight of the fabled Round Table!  Climb the feudal ladder at the King's court through Privy Counsel Maneuvers, Courtly Charm, and Daring Deeds.  Rise from Chamber Pot Attendant to claim the Throne of the Realm as King!


Cleaner, pdf version:
https://profbumblefingers.itch.io/knights-of-the-round-table

Sunday, March 31, 2024

Stealthy Lock Picker 2.0 -- More player choice


Based on reader feedback, I revised my "Stealthy Lock Picker" one-page solo RPG to include more player choice.  I hope you like it!






Monday, March 25, 2024

Stealthy Lock Picker -- Free, one-page solo RPG

 


You're a rogue, picking a lock. 

Don't break your lock picks. 

Shh! Quiet! Don't draw the attention of the Guardian.








100 Elf Sayings

 


Elf Archer

100 Elf Sayings

[from my Reddit post: 

https://www.reddit.com/r/d100/comments/1bhres4/lets_build_roleplaying_an_elfd100_phrases_to_get/]

Some players (especially new players) are nervous about roleplaying because they don’t know what their type of character (race, class, background, etc.) would say. Let’s build little “cheat sheets” of 100 things that a common character type could say in some common roleplaying situations. 

  • When you first set off on an adventure, or start a new day

  • When you think your group’s plan of action sounds good, and you agree

  • When you think your group’s plan of action stinks, and you disagree

  • When you want to Taunt / Insult / Intimidate a foe

  • When you want to Encourage / Praise / Comfort a comrade

  • When you conclude an adventure, or end a day

Of course, a player's character say anything that fits the situation, but this would be a little list that the player could pull from for inspiration or for a quick phrase in a moment when the player doesn’t know what to say. Just sprinkle a phrase here and there during a play session when it seems like the character should say something.

  1. “The stars do not wait upon the lethargic. Let us start/resume our noble quest.” [To start a new day] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  2. “A moment, my friends. I believe what is needed here is a bit of cool-headed elven logic and reason, [then say your idea]” [When you have an idea to share] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  3. “You, sir, are the foul remnants of an orc’s bad digestion!” [To insult a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  4. “Fear not, young one, the golden sun (or silvery moon) shall shine again.” [To encourage/comfort a comrade] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  5. And now the melodious harmony of an elven incantation shall end the dissonance of your corrupted soul. [elf magician destroying a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  6. Now that’s a tale the minstrels shall recount for the next 300 years. [At conclusion of adventure] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  7. In the name of the Sylvan Court, I offer up my prayers for your swift recovery. May the essence of the forest infuse you with strength and grant you respite from affliction. [elven cleric healing an ally] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  8. Merciless were the hands of Man with Spring's bounty... [when the food's not great][u/howlinghenbane]

  9. And now we ride, like the leaves upon the wind. [let's get going] [u/howlinghenbane]

  10. The wisdom of your words begets honor, my friend. [you agree with the plan] [u/howlinghenbane]

  11. I'm yet to be convinced that this plan merits a stanza in our song. [you think the plan is perhaps unwise] [u/howlinghenbane]

  12. Alas, far away is the rest of [the elven homeland's name]. [the inn's bed was uncomfortable] [u/howlinghenbane]

  13. Bid thy woes farewell, Children of [place]! [announce your arrival] [u/howlinghenbane]

  14. Perhaps we should entertain the thought that [insert your idea]. [to suggest an idea] [u/howlinghenbane]

  15. Dear friend, what tinges your visage with such sorrow? [to encourage an ally] [u/howlinghenbane]

  16. I shall pass the undying shame of your defeat on to your family. [on intimidate a foe] [u/howlinghenbane]

  17. Fate's design saw it unfit. ["something did not work out"] [u/howlinghenbane]

  18. Stand back! Or the ancient magic of this elven staff shall strike you down with the One Tree's might! [magic user intimidating a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  19. [sigh] How narrow is the vision of those with so few years. [the plan is bad because you don't have much experience because your lifespan is so short] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  20. "I've got my sneaky boots on and a very twitchy bow finger." [refrain from an elvish drinking song, also used to intimidate foes]

  21. Let sleeping dragons lie. [traditional elvish wisdom]

  22. Fear not, young one--This is not the beginning of the end, but merely the end of the beginning! [to encourage an ally] [u/ProfBumblefingers, with a nod to Churchill]

  23. Sally forth, brave comrades! We shall all rest in Avalon on the appointed day, but today is not that day! [to encourage allies] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  24. As the winds whisper through the ancient forest, so too do I whisper words of healing. Feel the power of the calming song, banishing pain and bringing renewal. [elvish cleric healing an ally] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  25. I unleash the power of a thousand years of elven arcane art to rid the world of your offensive visage! [elf magic user prepares to destroy a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  26. Attack me, if you must, but these pointy ears shall never count among your battle trophies! [to intimidate a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  27. By the light of the first moon and the wisdom of ages past, I channel the enduring energies of renewal. Let the healing touch of the elves flow through you, restoring what once was lost. [elven cleric healing an ally] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  28. Advice is a dangerous gift, best taken with caution. [traditional elvish wisdom]

  29. Retreat is your best option, sir! This bow is strong, and my aim is true. [to intimidate a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  30. The hand of fate favors you this day; an elf is here to mend the unfortunate results of your reckless mistakes. [elf cleric/druid heals an ally] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  31. Do not advance another step, sir, or you will do so with an arrow through the eye. [to intimidate a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  32. A wish is as dangerous as a dwarf with an axe. [age-old elvish wisdom]

  33. Hear the song of the Fates! They sing of your imminent demise, head parted neatly from torso by my keen elvish blade! [to intimidate a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  34. Fate smiles upon you, my friend. Ancient elven wisdom shall restore your flagging [spirit/strength/courage/etc.] this day. [elven cleric, druid, etc., heals an ally] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  35. Come, my comrades, the day lies before us. With courage we shall live to sing its glory. [to start the day] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  36. Arise, my friends, from your sweet slumber. I've watched over you this night, and now it's time to continue our story. [to start the day] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  37. Rest, my friends. Great deeds deserve a calm moment of reflection and repose.[while making camp, long rest] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  38. Begone, I say! Else the unbridled power of the elvish arcane shall end your pathetic days among the living! [elvish magic user intimidating a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  39. A dagger on the hip is less dangerous than a quill in hand. [elvish diplomats' wisdom]

  40. With this ancient incantation, I weave the threads of life anew. May the wisdom of our ancestors knit your wounds, bringing solace and restoration. [elf cleric healing an ally] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  41. Far have I traveled to slay you this day! Now shall you feel the bite of my keen-edged blade, forged by untiring elven smiths in a blinding fire of purity and grace! [to intimidate a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  42. I've prepared a spot of elvish tea for you late sleepers. Drink, and be invigorated. Great deeds lie ahead. [to start the day] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  43. The situation is dire, but our will is unflagging! Arise! Take heart! By the grace of the One Tree we shall yet win the day! [to encourage allies] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  44. As the rivers flow and the seasons turn, so too does the cycle of life continue. I invoke the blessings of my elven ancestors, bringing healing to body and spirit. [an elvish cleric/druid heals an ally] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  45. Though the darkness surrounds us, fear not. The light still shines from within. [to encourage allies] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  46. I think it wise to pause here, I suspect the full ramifications of this course of action have not been specified in sufficient detail. [to disagree to a plan] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  47. Good, yes--even an elven counsel might sanction this plan . . . with a bit of hesitation, perhaps, but yes, let us proceed with caution. [to agree to a plan] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  48. Distance is the finest armor. [common elvish battle strategy]

  49. I do not sleep, and I do not fear, and I do not care for your miserable form. May this elvish rite end your days among the creatures of this fair land! [elf magician attacking a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  50. As long as the light still shines from this pure elven heart, you shall fear the whistle of my arrow and the sting of my longsword's strike! [to intimidate a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  51. Take heart, comrades! The brave shall yet see the sun rise and hear the birds sing! [to encourage allies] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  52. The greatest swordsman wields a sheathed sword. [elvish wisdom]

  53. Fight bravely, my friends! Be worthy of the poet's quill! [to encourage allies] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  54. Do not tarry, sleepy ones, the golden dawn breaks upon the misty horizon. [to start a new day] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  55. With this spell I bid farewell to your sad soul, as it leaves the stage of your life's short performance. [elf magician ending a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  56. Do not approach, or the sweet song of my sword shall sever that vile head from your sweaty neck! [to intimidate a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  57. Let us pause a moment, young ones--I fear this endeavor may not fully achieve the desired outcome. [to disagree with a plan] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  58. Ambitious, this plan. Admirable, yes, but a bit too ambitious, I suspect. [to disagree with a plan] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  59. "Out-think! Out-shoot! Out-maneuver!" [elvish regimental battle chant]

  60. From the darkest depths of the sea below to the sun-filled heights of clouds above, I call upon the divine grace of the elven gods to fill you with vitality and mend your injuries. [elf cleric healing an ally] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  61. Flee, you fools! Or the ancient elven magic bound within me shall be unleashed to strike you down and end your wretched days! [elven magic user intimidates a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  62. I concur. Let us continue our song of adventure, that others may hear, take heart, and resist the fell darkness! [to agree to a plan] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  63. The life-song of my enemies will be cut short this day! [to rally friends, intimidate a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  64. In the dance of light and shadow, I find the balance needed to mend. Let the radiance of the sacred groves envelop you, bringing comfort and renewal in your time of need. [an elven cleric heals an ally] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  65. Turn and run, you foul creature, or I shall be forced to end the song of your soul! [to intimidate a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  66. Even the mighty oak bends in a strong wind. [know when it's best to compromise/retreat] [elvish battle wisdom]

  67. Rise! Rise, my comrade! The light of your soul shines still, and your song is unfinished! [to encourage a downed ally] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  68. All is not lost, my bow yet sings the song of my ancestors! [to rally your friends] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  69. "Go not to the Elves for counsel, for they will say both no and yes." [Frodo, commenting on the mysteries of elvish advice]

  70. Your days are few in number, young one. Rise, take courage, and live them to the end. [elven cleric/druid heals an ally] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  71. Speak/sing well, my friend, earn the envy of the songbirds. [to encourage a bard] [u/nagonjin]

  72. I would counsel against this endeavor; I fear the outcome may not be as sanguine as one might hope. [to disagree with a plan] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  73. “Don’t praise the light of day before the dark of night” [don’t count your chickens before they hatch] [u/PfenixArtwork]

  74. A word from me and ancient elven magic shall slay you upon the spot. Now leave. [elven magic user intimidates a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  75. "Good as a wet bowstring" [elvish description of something that is useless] [u/FoxInSox2]

  76. In the embrace of nature's grace, let wounds fade and strength renew! May the whispers of the forest mend your flesh and soothe your spirit. [elf cleric healing an ally] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  77. Turn away, I say! Or my ancient elven incantation shall lay low your wretched form and leave it quivering upon the embarrassed ground! [spell caster intimidates a foe][u/ProfBumblefingers]

  78. “A quiet forest means trouble” [u/PfenixArtwork]

  79. Rally, my friends! Your short days are not yet at an end! [to encourage allies] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  80. "Wisdom cannot be bought but always comes at a price" [u/Vynaxos]

  81. This ancient elven staff knows the number of your days, and your days are now at an end. [elven magic user intimidates a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  82. The art of the elvish archer this day shall paint the portrait of your demise! [to intimidate a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  83. "Mayflies." [elf slang for humans, due to mayflies' short lifespan] [u/k-mazov]

  84. Run, yes run, you villainous spawn! . . . or my blade shall cut your fleeting life shorter still! [to intimidate a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  85. "A Man's Age" [elven unit of time, equal to 60-80yrs] [u/nix131]

  86. Stand back! Or I shall write an elvish poem upon your loathsome corpse! [to intimidate a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  87. May the stars watch over your path. [u/Martinus_XIV]

  88. FEAR this terrible bow! Its wood from a ancient yew. Crafted by high-born elves. VENGEANCE comes for you! [to intimidate a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  89. Fool, you have annoyed me. Submit now, or know the terrible might of an offended elvish mage !!!! [elf magician intimidating a foe] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  90. You need to sharpen your ears. [you need be wiser / more cautious] [u/zoundtek808]

  91. May the light of the One Tree heal your body and restore your soul. [elven cleric/druid heals an ally] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  92. Find a space within the noise and listen to the silence. [elven cleric/druid wisdom] [u/soldyne]

  93. Stand fast! It is always darkest just before the dawn. [to encourage an ally] [u/ProfBumblefingers]

  94. "The stars are veiled. Something stirs in the [east, west, etc.]." [Legolas, warning that foes are on the march]

  95. "Few can foresee whither their road will lead them, till they come to its end." [Legolas, musing on the vagaries of fate]

  96. “Farewell, and may the blessing of Elves and Men and all Free Folk go with you. May the stars shine upon your faces!” [Elrond, offering a fond farewell]

  97. "The hearts of men are easily corrupted." [Galadriel, musing on her human allies]

  98. "You have no power here! You are nameless! Faceless! Formless! Go back to the void from whence you came!" [Galadriel, intimidating a big bad]

  99. "May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out." [Galadriel, offering a magical light to Frodo, maybe you say this when offering a torch/lantern to a comrade]

  100. "Even the smallest person can change the course of the future." [Galadriel, offering encouragement to us all]


Also, here's an older Reddit thread with some fun advice on playing an Elf:

https://www.reddit.com/r/rpg/comments/4rcdpz/how_to_play_an_elven_character_when_you_are_not/